Living in a multi-racial society, Singaporeans are in constant interaction with people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. With time, we gradually learn about each other's practices, languages, and norms, and we seemingly internalize these ideas and apply them in our daily life. In Singapore, we tend to categorize these cultural differences by race, into neat little blocks of "Chinese, Malay, Indian, Eurasian".
However, these perceived cultural differences can often lead to miscommunication. As my girlfriend, Jeo, is of Chinese-Indian heritage, her slight brown skin tone has resulted in countless interesting misunderstandings. Amongst them, a particularly memorable incident has stuck with me.
That day, we were at a food court, ordering food from a Chinese auntie. After a brief conversation with her in mandarin, I ordered my food. However, Jeo was still undecided over her order, and had this puzzled look as she pondered the menu. Clearly mistaking Jeo for a malay, the auntie interjected: "Girl, we also sell mee goreng here! No pork! Very nice!". With that, she continued trying to promote all her non-pork dishes. Till this day, I still vividly remember how the auntie's jaw dropped when Jeo replied in fluent mandarin.
Having witnessed many similar incidents, I always took special notice of how people wrongly "categorized" and interpreted her cultural background. Even amongst people who knew she spoke mandarin, their mandarin interchanges always sounded unnatural, or even forced. It was strange! There seemed to be this clear divide between who she identifies herself as, and who other people persist in identifying her as. Fortunately, she is able to see the light-hearted side in this, and derive amusement from it.
In the process of effective intercultural communication, understanding and adapting towards different cultures is essential to avoiding unnecessary conflict and tension. While it is normal to develop pre-conceived notions about someone's cultural background based on their appearance, we should refrain from overgeneralizing and jumping into conclusions. With that, we should keep in mind that regardless of culture, every individual is unique, and we should stay flexible and keep an open mind!
